Tears still fall from my weary eyes...not lots of tears...but they remain present--just behind my eyes. Every time I hear an ad with some person saying "They said I was going to die from cancer, but then I went to (wherever) and now I'm cured!" I want to punch the TV. (Jessie...you can punch Nancy Grace--I'll punch the TV.)
I have my cats back now. There are two cats on top of the covers and one wiener dog burrowed underneath. (Are there any wiener dogs that don't sleep under the covers?)
I continue to be very tired--restless fatigue is the best way to describe it. I was able to catch a short nap this afternoon, but now it's 1AM and I'm still awake. This is usually the time I wake up from pain, so if I fall asleep, I will be up again soon.
Thanks for all your suggestions re: pain management. Pain management is my specialty, but I'm not doing well coping with this kind of pain. I will see my doctor on March 2nd, so that will be good. I'm hoping that this is all stress related and it will go away soon.
I miss all of you wonderful people that I got to see at Mom's funeral. I wish we all lived closer, but I know my "cloud of witnesses" is never far away.
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Oh Em, me thinks this may be part of your process. It'll be good to go to the doctor and make sure, but give yourself a break, it's only been a week and you need to give your body a chance to readjust to life as it is. Try try try, you can do this. Remember the talks me you and my mom had. It's hard but you can do this... Trust me, you WILL do this, you'll surprise yourself. Much love from Buffalo cousies and Miss Mia-dog. We are looking forward to seeing you under happier of times.
ReplyDeleteEmilie,
ReplyDeleteIt is so normal for the body to rebel after everything you have been through! It will pass. Maybe check with a doctor to be sure, but my guess is it's fatigue and emotional pain settling into your body.
I remember a time after a big trauma that my body did ALL kinds of strange things for a few months, and then it slowly settled down again. It was confusing and it was frightening, but it was normal.
I will continue to follow your blog. Thank you so much for sharing.
Emilie Gail