I think the shock has officially worn off. Today I entered a new stage of grief--the sad part. I think that part of it has to do with not feeling well...and the rest of it is wishing my mom were around for support. I am glad though, that she is not around to worry, which is what she did. In Heaven we are promised that there is no more worry...or sorrow...or pain. I am glad for that.
Mom didn't deserve to die this early. There were so many more third graders who could have been taught and loved by her. I know life isn't supposed to be fair...I have certainly learned that over the last year. We just passed the anniversary of Jolesa's death. I spent some time with Nellie, her twin sister today. Grandma Shirley just died a year ago. The anniversary of that was just a few days ago. Mom had marked it on the calendar. She always did that.
I guess in a lot of ways, I'm glad that this isn't easy. Death shouldn't be easy. It wasn't easy. It still isn't. I know I can't escape going through this process. Whether it happens now, or I delay it until I'm 40, it's going to happen. Here's to hope for courage and strength...for all of us. We all need it...sometimes.
Question of the day: Who is your role model or hero? My 5th grade boys and girls are writing about this, and I'm interested in the responses of my more "grown up" friends.
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Oh, Emie, YOU are my hero. You have faced way too much lately and still, filled with faith, you carry on. I know that some days are harder than others. Perhaps the days will become less painful for all of us as time goes by.
ReplyDeleteWe all miss Mom in different ways...as a companion, a confidant and advisor, as a source of humor. I'm not sure what God's plan for us is. Perhaps He'll just help us to adjust in time.
Death. What sense does it make? It is only through death that we can claim our reward and victory in Heaven. Our earthly moment and our Heavenly eternity just aren't compatible. Perhaps the former makes the latter more sweet. If so, your Heavenly experience will be absolutely sugar-coated.
Love to you, my hero.
Daddy
Wow. What can I say after your dad's message. Just tell the truth and be boring, I guess.
ReplyDeleteEven at a young age I never really had a hero. I remember commenting on it at age 8 and then again as a teenager. I thought I'd make Catwoman my hero since there weren't too many women heros -- but it just didn't seem right.
Then, as I became interested in playing tennis there was the Bobby Riggs vs. Billie Jean King match -- but I really couldn't relate to Billie Jean -- or Crissy Evert. I admired Martina Navratilova but she was never my hero.
Then, you say, well, what about a role model. I can honestly say I had many people influence my life, but I can't point to any one person and say: "Yeah, so-and-so is great" and that I patterned my life after him/her.
I have always just tried to follow the Golden Rule of: "Do Unto Others..." and to live my life with a clear conscience everyday.
I'd have to say my hero is my friend Reva: she has helped me to see life in all its messiness and beauty and I just plain ol' admire her.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking the last couple of days about your question - Of course Jesus, but earthly people - I think it depends on certain areas of your life. Teachers at school are my hero because they are so good at it. Your Mom, Mrs. Lukac, Mrs. Anderson are some of them. But personally, my friends Malcolm and Anna at the Ranch have always been heroes to me because of the way they live out their faith even when no one is looking. Those are the people that are heroes to me - people of faith that are doing the best they can to live life the way they think God wants them to. I guess that puts you in that category too Emilie!
ReplyDeleteMy hero is my niece Amber. She has been through more than any child should have including foster care and being adopted at 13! While this was all going on she maintained a straight A average, even while being shuffled off to various foster homes and recovering from abuse. She is an AMAZING 14 year old, with strength that I do not think I could ever poses!
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